Cry and laugh.

“Laughing is good for the soul”..

Well, I think crying is good for the soul too.

Everyone needs a good laugh.

Everyone DEFINITELY needs a good cry.

Crying is so underrated and looked down upon too much… no?

I am not depressed, I promise!! Hahahaha.
It’s just something that came across my mind. Heh.

On a happier note,  the weather is sooooooo nice these days.
Okay, that is all.

Be back again soon!

IMPECCABLE TIMING.

Okay… So I don’t know if this will make sense to anyone.. but I really like waking up on my own aka NOT from an alarm.. I dunno.. it’s not like i get all giddy and cheer for myself if I beat the alarm clock.. but I just feel good when I wake up without any help (especially if my alarm is set)..

Okay so what’s the point of that story….

So last night, a VCU friend told me to bring some freshmen to meet the other freshmen, that she was bringing, at 12:30pm – TT LOUNGE.
I went to bed around 4am and I was like ‘o mann, I am going to be sooo tired…..” so I set my alarm to 12pm because I was just going to roll out of bed and leave..

In the morning, I opened my eyes and I looked at the clock.. it was 10:15am-ish. There was still a good amount of time left so I went back to sleep, but before I did.. (I wanted to wake up on my own like I just had)
as silly as it may sound, I prayed to God, ‘Lord, please wake me up at 11:30am’..
So I fall back asleep and away to dreamland I go…

Then I wake up because of a soft pin dropping noise – ” TING”.
I get up and look at the clock..
Guess what time it is?..

Yeah. 11:30am FLAT.

Crazies and awesommmeeee!

You might think it’s just a coincidence/stupid little incident..
But I know God is good and His timing is perfect.
I know it was God who woke me up..
I’ve been waiting patiently for God to answer this one big prayer.
Through today morning’s event, He reminded me.. He’ll make it happen.. It’s just a matter of time…
No worries for the future, God is BRINGIN’ IT. He’ll get it done – in His time.

Can I get an AMENG?  Haha.

P.S. Classes start Thursday (technically tomorrow)..
Eeep!.. Only one class (2pm-3:15pm) on the first day of classes though.. YAY! =)

BROTHERLY LOVE

Going to Inner-City Philadelphia in less than 24hours!!
Please pray for me!

Let God do His thang.

REMINDERS.

Hebrews 6:12
Hebrews 13:5
James 1:19-20
James 3:10
1 Peter 4:12-13
1 John 4:18

God is faithful to me.

HIS HANDS ARE HOLDING ME.

Tenth Avenue North – By Your Side.

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I’m not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

‘Cause I’ll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I’ll never let you go

I had heard of this song and also listened to it a couple of times on the radio.. but after the senior banquet this past weekend, it’s a whole new sound to me.
I loveeee how T.A.N sings it — I think it’s like the perfect tone, style and everything for this song. And then come the lyrics, man, it’s like perfect-er. Haha..

God  loves me.
Even though no one else does.
Because of God’s love for me, I am still alive today. Literally.

I’m getting stronger, but please Lord, give me more strength tomorrow than You did today.
Play hard, work harder, pray the hardest,
Until next time,
Peace & Love.

LOVEEEE.

My mom: “You need a husband to be someone who will love you soooo much all the time” (..sounded much better when she said it – and in Korean – 너를 항상 너~~~무 사랑해주는 사람이 필요해)

You know what they say!
Mom’s know best. Haha.
I can’t wait to see who God sends my way to lavish me with that much love! :b

On a little heavier note..

God is love, right?
So if we know God, then we know love.
And if God should be your everything.. then love should be everything.
Is it wrong to think that love is everything in a marriage.. or is money everything?..
I want to think that love can conquer over finances..
I see a lot of couple/marriages break apart because of money.. even those that know/love God.
But I see just as many couple/marriages that fight through all the financial problems because of love…
Then, there are parents who won’t allow a marriage because one or the other is saying “you need someone who is more financially stable”
So what is it?….

I know you might be thinking that the answer is so obvious – ‘DUH.. LOVE!!!’..
but if that’s what you’re thinking, thennnnn you don’t get what I’m trying to say/ask….. (I don’t mean that in an angry/harsh way haha)
Man, this post does NOT do justice to what is actually being tossed around in my mind..
I tried to explain the best I could…
And it’s late, so that doesn’t really help either..
Sorry it’s confusing.. Hahaha.
HOPEFULLY someone will get it… if not, at least God understands me! Haha..

Okay, enough ramblings for one night.
GOODNIGHT!

Please give me more strength tomorrow than You did today.
Play hard, work harder, pray the hardest,
Until next time,
Peace & Love.

STRENGTH FOR DAYS.

I wish I had a job, that way the time would go by a lot quicker. But no one will hire me because: 1.) I will be pretty busy with retreat, missions retreat, moving (apt @ school), MISSIONS, and maybe Chicago. and 2.) I have no work experience, other than babysitting..
Soooo, I have to try and be as productive as possible in order to get the days goin’! (but that is not easy! )

I was planning on going to NYC this weekend (to get my mind off of things and just keep myself busy, and visit my friend) but I decided not to go. I think it’ll be better for me plus I KNOW I would spend all the $120 in my bank account and then be left with nothing for the rest of this summer.. So, yeah – better to stay and save than to leave and lose. (hey that was a good line! I didn’t even like think about it.. cool.)

At least this Saturday evening, there’s the senior banquet for our youth group! I mean, I’m sure it won’t be as fun as being in NY, but I am excited to go and ready to support the future RAMS! Haha.

I thought it was going to be easier than this, maybe not a whole lot easier – but definitely easier than how everything’s rolling out right now.
I pray everyday that God will give me more strength tomorrow than He gave me today because it’s only getting harder.
Time = healing.
And I need a lot of healing…. so does that mean it’s going to take a lot of time?..
Oh man, I hope not.
But I guess it doesn’t really matter if it takes a long time or not because God has taught me to be patient, therefore I am and I know my patience will pay off and He will bring better things for me.

²¹ Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

²⁴ I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him.

Lamentations 3:21-25.

Please pray for me.
For strength:  I know I’m strong, but I can always use more help.
And to be healed: I know I’m patient, but the quicker, the better!

Like this quote a lot.
It really keeps me going. (of course not as much as the Big Man Upstairs does though.)
“Everything will be okay in the end.
If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

It’s the end for this post though!
Goodnight.

Play hard, work harder, pray the hardest,
Until next time,
Peace & Love.

GREENER PASTURES, BRIGHTER DAYS.

So I have been getting weird headaches, I don’t think they’re migraines but at the same time, I don’t know if I know what migraines feel like. (but I think I DO know what they feel like, and this is not the same feeling… but of course, I could be super wrong about thinking that I know what migraines feel like… and the cycle goes on and on..)

I don’t remember EXACTLY but I think these pains came after I fainted and had a pretty hard fall (on my head) which then leads me to think, ‘what if something is wrong?!’
But of course being the Asians that we are, we don’t bother going to the hospital to get it checked out (until something horrible happens) – even though I really should. Plus, my mom thinks I’m totally fine and it would totally be a waste of money, especially money that we don’t have. And you know what they say, “your mom is always right!”

So I went to Google and typed….. okay, I don’t remember what I typed, but when I found a legit site that kind of described the sensation, it said that this type of pain was most likely caused from stress. OH, REALLY? Haha, aren’t all headaches from stress? I don’t know…. I was NOT satisfied with that answer, whatsoever. :/

So what is stressing me out?.. too much. BUT, I can feel God dusting off little bits of these burdens every day.. slowly but surely!

Eventually, and I know I am not speaking for myself, these stresses become tiring and dreadful. Just like David, as he had to protect and take care of his sheep. How did David do it? Being a shepherd himself and knowing that his sheep are always at rest when they are with their shepherd, he turned to the Good Shepherd for rest and of course, God provided.

“He makes me to lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside the still waters, He restores my soul.”
Psalm 23:2-3.

I know it can be tough to just REST and exhaustion may sometimes weaken us. But God always has a plan to relieve our stress. He invites us to lie down in green pastures, not brown dirt – but in a green, relaxing place.
Green is easiest on the eye and the most calming and refreshing color. It also is the color of balance, and when you are (properly) balanced, you are most likely at peace.
Therefore God leads us to be in a place where we can be refreshed so that we can be revived physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Everyone’s “green pasture” does not have to be green, in a pasture, or even outside. It could be in your bed, singing a song, reading a book, etc.

All in all, God does not put us in charge of everything – just certain, important assignments. Although at times the stress and pressure can leave us to be drained, God does not leave us empty. A reason to why He wants us to meet with Him daily so that He can refill us in places we need refreshment in order for us to be ready for tomorrow and its stresses + worries.

So don’t feel guilty that you are resting and just…. REST!
God rested on the seventh day, so there’s nothing wrong with taking a break!
(But of course only God can bring unending rest and never ending comfort)

Now, it is time for me to rest. Hehe.
Goodnight!

Play hard, work harder, pray the hardest,
Until next time,
Peace & Love.

GOD IS GREAT.

Oh Lord My God, when I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: “My God, how great Thou art!”

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How GREAT Thou art!

God never gives up on you.
So don’t ever give up on Him.
If God is for us, who can be against us?

Getting more and more excited for missions as each day goes by.

GOD is so great.
God is SO great.
God is so GREAT.

I have to wake up at 630am for the car wash in the morning.
I should definitely be asleep.
GREATNIGHT WORLD!

Play hard, work harder, pray the hardest,
Until next time,
Peace & Love.

BE BROKEN, IT’S OKAY!

Okay, so some people said that I should write more, some people inspired me to write more, and some people don’t care if I write more.. but i decided to write more!

In July it’s going to be my 1 year anniversary with WordPress, but I’ve only written in it like 4 times… How sad! I guess I got caught up with my hardcopy journal and just forgot about my digital one. Time for that to change — at least a little.  So, I deleted all my old, not that it was many, posts and I will start somewhat fresh…

—

So I have been having a really hard time lately with a handful of things.. and I guess I could say that I am in pain – well actually I sometimes feel like I can’t breathe because it hurts so much – but God is giving me strength, and a lot of it, each day to overcome these bits of agony with His word and of course, His love.
I thinks it’s just wild how He knows exactly what to say, when to say it.

Such as today’s verse that God gave me during our date this morning..

“Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence
so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Hebrews 4:16

So when a house has a warranty on it, you can pretty much ask for repair towards anything you wish to be beautified within however long the warranty goes for (usually about 1 year). BUT you have to take in the consideration of all the fuss, the noise, the mess, and you know, all the icky inconveniences.

You can walk into each room and take a look at what needs to be improved and revamped and then, you can either:
A.) put the warranty to good use while just patching up the place will be good enough
or B.) just wait until things start to break and fall apart..

… which is also – yes, you guessed it – like one’s heart.

You can take a walk through each door in your heart and see all the broken pieces, whether it be from finances, from relationships, from school, from.. you get the point.
Just like a house can have a one year warranty for remodeling and improving, we too have the opportunity for enrichment and being polished. But unlike a one year warranty on a house, we are given a lifetime warranty for our hearts – by our gracious God.

Yes, it will be uncomfortable and different. Yes, it may get messy and unpleasant. and YES, it is NOT going to be easy nor will it be quick..

However, the outcome will be far from messy, far from inconvenient, far from broken and instead fresh, beneficial, and brand spankin’ new. And that truth gives us (at least me!) comfort through the pain and hurt which eventually leads the satisfaction-guaranteed future to overpower the repeated aching past.

Anddd the great thing about a God warranty is that we don’t need to set a time and place for the “warranty” to occur. All we need is to be ready to be changed (for the better) and to know that He is available wherever, whenever.

I am not trying to like preach or anything, but I think a lot of times people can be “afraid” to confront God boldly and ask for repairing. We may beat around the bush and say ‘God, you know how I feel.. you know what to do.. etc etc’ and yeah, He does know, He will always know — but He encourages us to come before his throne with confidence and ask Him to repair our brokenness.

That passage and what God shows me always seems to hit the spot; like He is unbelievably on point….. all the time. He just keeps showing me what I want – or NEED -  to see exactly when I need to see it. God is the best advice giver out there (duh!) and there are times when we’re hurting and are in need of a ranting session so we go vent to people, but they just do NOT give the feedback we want. Well folks, just go to the Big Man upstairs because  He always has the right “advice” (Of course, it really isn’t “ADVICE”  it’s more like we should be LIVING this way..) and even though it might not be what we WANT to hear, it is definitely the right way to go and is FASHO what we NEED to hear and NEED to be and NEED to live out.

Okay, I did not expect this post to be as long as it turned out. So, sorry if it didn’t make any sense or if you just got really bored or whatever other reason.. but God is too good to me, and I couldn’t keep all the goodies to myself, thus I needed to share. Heh.

Also, I know I am not a superb writer like most of these wordpressers, and I KNOW I don’t have a wide range of vocabulary like most of these worpressers do, but superb writing and intense vocab doesn’t capture God’s heart — so pretty much, I don’t care, I am going to write! Hahaha.

I’ll try and update this thing more often and hopefully when June 2010 comes around, I’ll have more than 4 posts. )
I don’t even know/care if anyone reads my posts, because it’s mainly for me and my daily spread of thoughts.

But thanks for those who read and will continue to read and enjoy.

Play hard, work harder, pray the hardest,
Until nex t time,
Peace & Love.